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These original photos were taken at Lake Michigan on my iPhone 4 through the instagram app. I tweeted them with words of prayer, and this is how I prayed that day.

I put the slides with words into a PowerPoint slideshow, then turned that into a Quicktime movie and uploaded it to YouTube.

In the slideshow, the words fade in and out with special timings which you don’t see in the movie. It’s a bit choppy here, but gives you a way to watch it without downloading the whole PowerPoint slideshow.

If you *do* want to download it, there are links below to two different sizes. The quality of the slideshows is much better than the YouTube video.

Visual Prayer by Nanette Sawyer-8MB pptx file

Visual Prayer, by Nanette Sawyer-53 MB pptx file

Here are the words to the prayer, which I made up while looking through my camera lens. It’s really much, much better with the photos. They are the center of the prayer.

Dear God, are you here?

I am listening.

The way does not seem straight.

I am worn down by the waves.

I am trying to see the patterns.

Everything changes all the time.

I can’t go back the same way.

Can’t go back.

Some of it looks familiar.

The waters are rising up to my neck.

Come to the aid of your people, Holy One.

Foundations of old have passed away.

The footing is uncertain.

Bit by bit I have been worn away.

From where does my help come?

Never have you forsaken me.

Answer me when I call.

You are my strength, from morning ’til night.

Lead me, O God.

Make a way out of no way.

Listen to your people.

You are our strength and our redeemer.

With you at my side, how can I be afraid?

In and through all things you guide me.

Creation is so big, and we are so small.

But we are inside it.

All of us are.

All of us.

All of us.

You have heard the prayers of your people, O God.

May your steadfast love endure forever.

May your steadfast love endure forever.

May your steadfast love endure forever.

Amen and Amen and Amen.

John B. Cobb

I just happened to be in the right place at the right time. Well, and I was brave. I was attending the Emergent Village Theological Conversation a few weeks ago and just loving the conversation about Process Theology.

On several occasions I was hovering around waiting for a chance to talk to John Cobb, a well-known process theologian who has now been retired for 20 years. I wanted to thank him for his thought-provoking presentations and to ask him a question or two.

But of course many people wanted to do the same thing. I gave up several times, told myself it wasn’t important, walked away and circled back, hung around while someone else video-taped him, then had my opportunity.

After thanking him for his presentations I said that I would love to ask him a few questions at some point. (That was the brave part.) He said, “How about now? I’m about to have some lunch.” I felt like the luckiest person in the world.

That meal was like sitting down for a lunch-time chat with Jimmy Carter about world politics. Let’s just say, John Cobb has thought through a few issues. I came away from that lunch with a great deal of admiration for him as a thinker and tremendous respect for him as a kind and generous human being.

The thing that was most moving and helpful for me, though, was the depth of his Christian faith. He spoke with conviction about the importance of Christ, even while he described an openness to learning about God through the insights of non-Christians. Dr. Cobb affirmed certain core convictions of Christianity, but reframed them in such a way that I felt liberated.

It was as though he was pointing to a window looking out onto a landscape I had never seen. What process theology has given him, he said, is a language with which to speak about God and Christ which doesn’t require him to hand over his rationality. And yet, his “rationality” is not limited by old categories.

Everything he spoke of, he presented with humility, acknowledging the imperfection of his knowing, but never hesitating to seek a greater understanding of God. He said that all of us who speak about God are merely speculating, but he believes that we are called to speculate!

After lunch, as I listened to more presentations and began reading his books, I saw that all my questions have been asked many times before. I was right on track with the questions so many people have.

I asked some big questions like: How do you understand the incarnation? How was God present in Jesus? How does what Jesus did then relate to us now? To answer them, he always began by reframing the question and undoing my entire (unconscious) metaphysics. What is the world made of? What is existence? What makes a human being?

I won’t be able to even list all the questions here, but I highly recommend that you check out Dr. Cobb’s comments in his “Ask Dr. Cobb” column over at the Process and Faith website.

Right now I am reading The Process Perspective II. (It’s okay to skip the first one and go right to this one, which is also available digitally.) It gives a simple introduction to Christian process theology and covers basic metaphysics, the nature of God, science, evolution and ecology, the nature of Christ, the problem of evil, and religious pluralism. These are collections of pieces from the “Ask Dr. Cobb” column. He is so conversational in his answers that reading them feels like sitting down for lunch with him.

I only wish I had some of that great bok choy and rice we had that day in early February.

Irish Soda Bread

I made an amazing Gluten Free Irish Soda Bread for dinner tonight. Wow.

I’m trying to learn to cook and especially to bake gluten-free, so I can avoid spending an arm and a leg every time I want something bready. The banana bread last week was not so good as I blended the bananas up too much in the bread. It didn’t really seem like banana bread at all. As one person said, “So…it’s just more like ‘bread.’” Yeah, that was it.

For the banana bread, I used a recipe off a box, but this time I used my new cook book, Gluten Free on A Shoestring. One big “Yay!” for this cookbook.

Here’s the recipe I used:

3 cups all-purpose gluten-free flour

1 1/2 tsp xanthan gum

3/4 cup sugar {but I used a scant 1/2 cup instead}

2 1/4 teaspoons baking powder

1 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp kosher salt

1/4 tsp cream of tartar

6 TBSP unsalted butter diced and chilled

2 cups raisins {I used golden raisins}

2 TBSP caraway seeds (optional) {I didn’t use these. Not my favorite!}

1 1/2 cups milk (low-fat is fine, nonfat is not) {I used unsweetened soy milk}

2 tsp white wine vinegar

1 extra-large egg

Mix the dry ingredients well.

Cut in the butter, so it’s like cornmeal texture. (I used my food processor for this, which was  a dream!)

Mix the milk, vinegar, and egg together, then add to dry ingredients. Mix only until the mixture starts coming together. Don’t over mix it.

Bake in a skillet or ceramic pie plate with two-inch high walls, at 325 for 40 minutes, then 325 for 30 more minutes.

Let it cool for 30 minutes in the pan, then turn it out to cool completely. It does cut more cleanly when it’s cool, but it sure tastes good when it’s hot!

This is the third week of Advent, and at Grace Commons we have a tradition of honoring Mary on this week. In the past we’ve used the theme of Courage and Action, contemplating how much courage it takes sometimes to move into action.

Mary, the mother of God, is such a great, courageous example for us. She steps into her destiny. That’s so courageous. She agrees to do something that won’t be easy or simple–but it’s right for her. She has the capacity to temporarily contain the uncontainable; to hold divinity within her body. And she chooses to do so!

This year we are using the more traditional weekly themes of Hope, Love, Joy (and next week, Peace.)

I’m thinking about the kind of steady, deep (different from cheery) joy that a person has when they are doing what they are meant to do–when they feel they are being useful in the world, and using their gifts well.

The Annunciation is the announcement of the angel telling Mary what is about to happen to her through her pregnancy. It seems it would be easier if God would announce as clearly what is to happen to each of us, but we are left to discern it, to seek out our vocations, our callings, our purposes, and our capacities.

Annunciation by Denise Levertov is one of my all-time favorite poems. You can read the full poem here.  Here’s a part of it:

Aren’t there annunciations
of one sort or another
in most lives?
Some unwillingly
undertake great destinies,
enact them in sullen pride,
uncomprehending.
More often
those moments
when roads of light and storm
open from darkness in a man or woman,
are turned away from
in dread, in a wave of weakness, in despair
and with relief.
Ordinary lives continue.
God does not smite them.
But the gates close, the pathway vanishes.

“Aren’t there annunciations of one sort or another in most lives?” We have that moment when we’re confronted with the opportunity to be authentic, to believe in ourselves, to tell the truth, to take a risk for love or justice, to do something for the ones who are looking to us, relying on us to use our gifts and skills and be strong, beautiful, compassionate, steady, protective, creative.

Some moments of potential we walk into. Other times we let the gates of possibility close because of our dread, our weakness, our despair. In those moments, not only does God not smite us, but God also does not abandon us. There is always a path before us, always a next step to take, and always God is near us, God-with-us, hoping we will have the courage to let go of our own sense of unworthiness.

It’s easy to think of the Virgin Mary as demure, as quiet and obedient, submissive–it’s easy, because we’ve been trained to think that way, about Mary, about the ideal woman, or the ideal Christian. Submit, obey, demure, sacrifice, deny yourself.

But I think Mary’s example and the teaching she offers us is exactly the opposite of that. To fulfill her destiny, she had to step into herself, embody herself, and realize her own capacity. By joining herself with God, she had the capacity to carry God within her and bring God into the world.

She did not cry, “I cannot, I am not worthy,”
nor “I have not the strength.”
She did not submit with gritted teeth,
raging, coerced.
Bravest of all humans,
consent illumined her.
The room filled with its light,
the lily glowed in it,
and the iridescent wings.
Consent,
courage unparalleled,
opened her utterly.

She was worthy. She was worthy to meet the task that was put before her. And so are you, and so am I.

Mary did not submit, but she gave consent. Think about the difference between those two words. To submit to coercion, or to consent to possibility. I love the idea that consent illumined her.

But to what was she consenting? What I love about this poem is that Mary consents to her own worthiness. She was worthy of being loved by God, “favored” the biblical text says. And I believe that God favors each and every one of us.

This is God’s omni-partiality (a word I got from Process Theologians); being partial to, or loving intensely and distinctly, every being. God waits for us to realize that God loves us. God waits for our consent to our own worthiness before we can be filled with luminosity.

But when we do consent to that worthiness, we are strengthened with courage. And, I would suggest, we open ourselves to the possibility of a deep and abiding joy.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The image of the Spanish Our Lady of Guadalupe in Loboc, the Philippines, is from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:La_Guadalupana_Loboquena.jpg

Sometimes it seems like we have too much abundance in the U.S. I just came home from the store where I saw a box of chocolate covered cherries for $1.50. I bought a sweater for $11.00. It does not feel right, it feels wrong to be able to purchase a brand new article of clothing for such a small percentage of my income. But I did it.

I’m pretty sure it was knitted on a machine, but someone had to run that machine, and with my purchase price being so low, I’m sure the retailer’s purchase price was much lower. Which means the wages earned by the people who actually produced it must be very low. I write this partly to remind myself that it is true. It’s easy to look the other way, to put it out of my mind, to forget it.

I bought the sweater partly in response to a good friend who gently commented on some t-shirts I’ve been wearing which I have owned for 15 years. Yeah, they’re a bit ratty around the collar. I’m not extravagant when it comes to clothing, but I think I can do a better job of caring for myself. It’s a balance, isn’t it? And how do we judge whether we’ve achieved the balance point or not? I know there are better ways to replace my falling-apart t-shirts and my otherwise out-dated clothing.

For Halloween I bought a new pair of jeans at the Thrift Store for $2.50 to be part of my costume. I decided they were pretty good for daily wear also! I feel so much better about the purchase I made at the Thrift Store, than the purchase of the $11.00 brand-spanking-new sweater.

One of my fondest childhood memories of Christmas is from the year my mom did all her Christmas Shopping at the Thrift Store because that was all she could afford. I loved it, because it was such an abundant Christmas! I got so many nice pieces of clothing. And probably some toys, too, but mostly I remember a really great button-down shirt.

Abundance doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. But it does take an investment of time–to make wise purchases, to take care of the things we’ve already got, to recycle, reuse, share. It takes time, and time takes a commitment. So I need to strengthen my commitment.

I want to have an abundance that is solid and basic and responsible. I don’t want an abundance that is based on goods that are inexpensive and easy to throw away because they didn’t really “cost me” anything much. But I know that I am part of a system that creates “abundance” by depriving others of their basic needs.

The things I want, and the things I have, are costing other people much more than they are costing me.

In her book, Graceful Living: Your Faith, Values, and Money in Changing Times, Laura Dunham writes that

Those who view the world as a place of scarcity tend to hoard, not share, what they have, while those who see the earth’s abundance believe there’s enough for everyone and respond generously to the needs of others. (p.7)

Sometimes when I hear people talking about “defending our way of life” here in the United States, I get a sense of this hoarding mentality which doesn’t believe there is enough for everyone.

I actually want to change my way of life, not defend it, so that I can use less, need less, want less. For that, I need friends who are doing the same, and I need a stronger sense of sufficiency. In my next post in this series, I’ll reflect on frugality and simplicity as a means of strengthening a sense of sufficiency. And by sufficiency, I mean it is enough

How can I help myself feel that it is enough? How do you?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is part of a series reflecting on Laura Dunham’s book, Graceful Living: Your Faith, Values, and Money in Changing Times. Her seven “Graceful Living” concepts are abundance, frugality, simplicity, generosity, sustainability, justice, and Sabbath. If you’re interested in getting a copy of this book, you can email the author directly at lgad@mindspring.com.

Thankful

I am so impressed with this woman. She is making a pie a day for a year – one to give away every day to someone for whom she is thankful. What a wonderful practice. My friend, Adam Walker Cleveland is a pastor at her church and was the lucky recipient of pie #186.

I’m writing this post from the EconoLodge on my way to Tennessee where I will have three days with my family. I’ll be meeting my new nephew, Jennings, for the first time…for which I am so thankful!

I will also cook with my mom, walk in the woods, rock Kailee to sleep, work with my dad in his woodshop, sit in front of the fireplace, talk with my sisters, and visit with several wonderful nieces and nephews.

It is these simple things for which I am most grateful. Relationships, connections, cooking, eating, being in nature. And just being alive. Waking up in the mornings, still breathing.

While I won’t be making a pie every day, I am going to take a few minutes to just sit and think about all the things that I do have, and take a moment to be thankful for all of that. And to share that gratitude with others, I’m just going to show up and be.with. People can feel it when you love them.

What will you do to share your gratitude with the world?

Wordle!

What fun! This week I was introduced to a new website: wordle.net.

Just type in words, or paste in large amounts of text, and “create.” The larger the word, the more times it appeared in your text.

This wordle is based on a combination of words people wrote down during the Taize Vespers gathering on Sunday, a recent community retreat, and the most recent Community Life essays on Wicker Park Grace/Grace Commons’ website.

This is a word picture of my faith community.