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This is the third week of Advent, and at Grace Commons we have a tradition of honoring Mary on this week. In the past we’ve used the theme of Courage and Action, contemplating how much courage it takes sometimes to move into action.

Mary, the mother of God, is such a great, courageous example for us. She steps into her destiny. That’s so courageous. She agrees to do something that won’t be easy or simple–but it’s right for her. She has the capacity to temporarily contain the uncontainable; to hold divinity within her body. And she chooses to do so!

This year we are using the more traditional weekly themes of Hope, Love, Joy (and next week, Peace.)

I’m thinking about the kind of steady, deep (different from cheery) joy that a person has when they are doing what they are meant to do–when they feel they are being useful in the world, and using their gifts well.

The Annunciation is the announcement of the angel telling Mary what is about to happen to her through her pregnancy. It seems it would be easier if God would announce as clearly what is to happen to each of us, but we are left to discern it, to seek out our vocations, our callings, our purposes, and our capacities.

Annunciation by Denise Levertov is one of my all-time favorite poems. You can read the full poem here.  Here’s a part of it:

Aren’t there annunciations
of one sort or another
in most lives?
Some unwillingly
undertake great destinies,
enact them in sullen pride,
uncomprehending.
More often
those moments
when roads of light and storm
open from darkness in a man or woman,
are turned away from
in dread, in a wave of weakness, in despair
and with relief.
Ordinary lives continue.
God does not smite them.
But the gates close, the pathway vanishes.

“Aren’t there annunciations of one sort or another in most lives?” We have that moment when we’re confronted with the opportunity to be authentic, to believe in ourselves, to tell the truth, to take a risk for love or justice, to do something for the ones who are looking to us, relying on us to use our gifts and skills and be strong, beautiful, compassionate, steady, protective, creative.

Some moments of potential we walk into. Other times we let the gates of possibility close because of our dread, our weakness, our despair. In those moments, not only does God not smite us, but God also does not abandon us. There is always a path before us, always a next step to take, and always God is near us, God-with-us, hoping we will have the courage to let go of our own sense of unworthiness.

It’s easy to think of the Virgin Mary as demure, as quiet and obedient, submissive–it’s easy, because we’ve been trained to think that way, about Mary, about the ideal woman, or the ideal Christian. Submit, obey, demure, sacrifice, deny yourself.

But I think Mary’s example and the teaching she offers us is exactly the opposite of that. To fulfill her destiny, she had to step into herself, embody herself, and realize her own capacity. By joining herself with God, she had the capacity to carry God within her and bring God into the world.

She did not cry, “I cannot, I am not worthy,”
nor “I have not the strength.”
She did not submit with gritted teeth,
raging, coerced.
Bravest of all humans,
consent illumined her.
The room filled with its light,
the lily glowed in it,
and the iridescent wings.
Consent,
courage unparalleled,
opened her utterly.

She was worthy. She was worthy to meet the task that was put before her. And so are you, and so am I.

Mary did not submit, but she gave consent. Think about the difference between those two words. To submit to coercion, or to consent to possibility. I love the idea that consent illumined her.

But to what was she consenting? What I love about this poem is that Mary consents to her own worthiness. She was worthy of being loved by God, “favored” the biblical text says. And I believe that God favors each and every one of us.

This is God’s omni-partiality (a word I got from Process Theologians); being partial to, or loving intensely and distinctly, every being. God waits for us to realize that God loves us. God waits for our consent to our own worthiness before we can be filled with luminosity.

But when we do consent to that worthiness, we are strengthened with courage. And, I would suggest, we open ourselves to the possibility of a deep and abiding joy.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The image of the Spanish Our Lady of Guadalupe in Loboc, the Philippines, is from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:La_Guadalupana_Loboquena.jpg

Sometimes it seems like we have too much abundance in the U.S. I just came home from the store where I saw a box of chocolate covered cherries for $1.50. I bought a sweater for $11.00. It does not feel right, it feels wrong to be able to purchase a brand new article of clothing for such a small percentage of my income. But I did it.

I’m pretty sure it was knitted on a machine, but someone had to run that machine, and with my purchase price being so low, I’m sure the retailer’s purchase price was much lower. Which means the wages earned by the people who actually produced it must be very low. I write this partly to remind myself that it is true. It’s easy to look the other way, to put it out of my mind, to forget it.

I bought the sweater partly in response to a good friend who gently commented on some t-shirts I’ve been wearing which I have owned for 15 years. Yeah, they’re a bit ratty around the collar. I’m not extravagant when it comes to clothing, but I think I can do a better job of caring for myself. It’s a balance, isn’t it? And how do we judge whether we’ve achieved the balance point or not? I know there are better ways to replace my falling-apart t-shirts and my otherwise out-dated clothing.

For Halloween I bought a new pair of jeans at the Thrift Store for $2.50 to be part of my costume. I decided they were pretty good for daily wear also! I feel so much better about the purchase I made at the Thrift Store, than the purchase of the $11.00 brand-spanking-new sweater.

One of my fondest childhood memories of Christmas is from the year my mom did all her Christmas Shopping at the Thrift Store because that was all she could afford. I loved it, because it was such an abundant Christmas! I got so many nice pieces of clothing. And probably some toys, too, but mostly I remember a really great button-down shirt.

Abundance doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. But it does take an investment of time–to make wise purchases, to take care of the things we’ve already got, to recycle, reuse, share. It takes time, and time takes a commitment. So I need to strengthen my commitment.

I want to have an abundance that is solid and basic and responsible. I don’t want an abundance that is based on goods that are inexpensive and easy to throw away because they didn’t really “cost me” anything much. But I know that I am part of a system that creates “abundance” by depriving others of their basic needs.

The things I want, and the things I have, are costing other people much more than they are costing me.

In her book, Graceful Living: Your Faith, Values, and Money in Changing Times, Laura Dunham writes that

Those who view the world as a place of scarcity tend to hoard, not share, what they have, while those who see the earth’s abundance believe there’s enough for everyone and respond generously to the needs of others. (p.7)

Sometimes when I hear people talking about “defending our way of life” here in the United States, I get a sense of this hoarding mentality which doesn’t believe there is enough for everyone.

I actually want to change my way of life, not defend it, so that I can use less, need less, want less. For that, I need friends who are doing the same, and I need a stronger sense of sufficiency. In my next post in this series, I’ll reflect on frugality and simplicity as a means of strengthening a sense of sufficiency. And by sufficiency, I mean it is enough

How can I help myself feel that it is enough? How do you?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is part of a series reflecting on Laura Dunham’s book, Graceful Living: Your Faith, Values, and Money in Changing Times. Her seven “Graceful Living” concepts are abundance, frugality, simplicity, generosity, sustainability, justice, and Sabbath. If you’re interested in getting a copy of this book, you can email the author directly at lgad@mindspring.com.

Thankful

I am so impressed with this woman. She is making a pie a day for a year – one to give away every day to someone for whom she is thankful. What a wonderful practice. My friend, Adam Walker Cleveland is a pastor at her church and was the lucky recipient of pie #186.

I’m writing this post from the EconoLodge on my way to Tennessee where I will have three days with my family. I’ll be meeting my new nephew, Jennings, for the first time…for which I am so thankful!

I will also cook with my mom, walk in the woods, rock Kailee to sleep, work with my dad in his woodshop, sit in front of the fireplace, talk with my sisters, and visit with several wonderful nieces and nephews.

It is these simple things for which I am most grateful. Relationships, connections, cooking, eating, being in nature. And just being alive. Waking up in the mornings, still breathing.

While I won’t be making a pie every day, I am going to take a few minutes to just sit and think about all the things that I do have, and take a moment to be thankful for all of that. And to share that gratitude with others, I’m just going to show up and be.with. People can feel it when you love them.

What will you do to share your gratitude with the world?

Wordle!

What fun! This week I was introduced to a new website: wordle.net.

Just type in words, or paste in large amounts of text, and “create.” The larger the word, the more times it appeared in your text.

This wordle is based on a combination of words people wrote down during the Taize Vespers gathering on Sunday, a recent community retreat, and the most recent Community Life essays on Wicker Park Grace/Grace Commons’ website.

This is a word picture of my faith community.

 

I thought I would watch bits of this, but ended up watching the whole thing, two hours! It’s very, very interesting information, which clearly comes from years of experience in social justice movements.

Jerry Boyle from the National Lawyer’s Guild gave a two-hour training/workshop on how to deal with police at the Occupy Chicago site on October 15, 2011. It was live streamed and recorded in the process.

Anyone participating in Occupy Anything should watch this.

If you can’t watch it all, just watch a few minutes and see if it captures your attention. You can watch it in bits and chunks.

An important point made is that the Occupy movement is a political movement with political goals, and not a legal issue. (Stay with me here.) The police, under orders from political figures, might like to make it a legal issue, in other words, make it about laws being broken instead of about society being changed. The energy of the movement could then be diverted away from the political goals of the movement.

People may choose to be arrested to draw attention to the cause, but that decision should be made consciously and carefully, to avoid all energy being drawn into dealing with legal issues.

If that’s too confusing, watch the video! Jerry spends a lot more time exploring it, and does a better job of explaining it.

He also describes how police are trained to respond to protesters and how you might be tricked or steered into escalating a situation to greater violence without any intention of doing so.

For example, if a police officer grips your arm painfully and you pull away (a natural human response), you can now be charged with “resisting” a police officer and they can take the interaction to the next higher level of engagement.

There is a lot to think about in pursuing non-violent social change, and ways to prepare yourself to be more effective and not fall into traps that may be set for you, either consciously or unconsciously.

What’s the difference between police who wear blue shirts and police who wear white shirts? It’s very significant! The white shirts are supervisors and get their orders from people like the mayor. The blue-shirted officers get orders from the white shirted officers.

If a white shirted officer escalates something (like the pepper-spray into the eyes of peaceful demonstrators in NYC), that is a *political* act, meant to provoke.

If you’re interested in the Occupy Movement, and especially if you are participating physically, it’s definitely important and helpful to have a better understanding of how police are trained to deal with situations.

This can help everyone stay safe, and also empower everyone to make clear conscious decisions about how to interact with police and further the non-violent goals of the political movement.

But even if you’re not involved in the movement, this is a very interesting video about police.

A Life Well-Lived

I often speak about God’s dream for the world–that our world would become a place of shalom, meaning peace and wholeness and well-being. When I invite people to the communion table, for example, I often say that at the communion table we embody God’s dreams for a world where there will be no more tears, no hunger, no injustice.

The American Dream is something else. It suggests that we’re all responsible and capable of creating success for ourselves. And that success is defined largely in terms of wealth and the quantity of stuff, or the kinds of stuff, that we can acquire.

Dunham reminds us in her book that the drafters of the U. S. Constitution had in mind a democratic society with equality of opportunity, in which individual freedom would be balanced with the common good. (p3) That’s something we don’t talk about much–the common good, and how we all contribute to it.

Success is too often defined by money, power, and position, not by a life well lived.

So, what is a life well lived? I’m asking myself that. What would my life look like, if it was well lived?

I know that one of the things I struggle with is feeling that I have “enough”, or I have all I need, that I have the right things, and I don’t need more or different or better things. Sometimes I do need more, different or better things, but a lot of times, I don’t!

It’s so easy to use the language of “should” when talking about money and stuff. But I don’t find that “should” language helps me change very much. I think I need to better understand the roots of my feelings, in order to make conscious decisions and commitments, rather than being controlled under the table by my fears and whatever else I find in this process.

Dunham suggests seven “Graceful Living” concepts, and I’m going to attempt to work through them one at a time in upcoming posts. They are: abundance, frugality, simplicity, generosity, sustainability, justice, and Sabbath.

~ This is part of a series reflecting on Laura Dunham’s book, Graceful Living: Your Faith, Values, and Money in Changing Times. ~

In November I’m blogging this book by Laura Dunham, Graceful Living: Your Faith, Values, and Money in Changing Times. Laura is a Presbyterian minister, a certified financial planner, and a former college professor.

We’re taking a look at Stewardship at Wicker Park Grace, and how our relationship with money affects our relationships with the world and each other.

How is money a spiritual thing? How can getting our finances in order make us stronger spiritually?

Mostly I’ll focus on Part One in the book: Choosing How to Live.

Chapter One: Living in a Consumer Society

Chapter Two: Money as a Spiritual Concern

Chapter Three: Graceful Living: Designing a Lifestyle Consistent with Your Faith

I got a copy of this book from a Stewardship group at the Presbytery of Chicago, and unfortunately, I can’t find where it’s easily available on-line. If anybody knows, please post a comment here!

I’m always amazed when I watch this video, by the huge amount of similarity we use in talking about our emerging efforts at being church in new ways.

Created in the spring of 2010 at a gathering in Minneapolis, this video features 16 really cool people doing awesome things across the country.

Each of us speaks for less than a minute in this 10-minute video, but the editor has interspersed our comments so that you easily hear the similarities (and differences) in what we’re doing.

I hear similarities of hospitality, having a posture of openness, taking the risk to fail and sometimes failing, being on a journey with people, really loving people sincerely, living a faith-kind-of-life, developing strong spiritual practices, claiming and interpreting the bible, putting ourselves into the stories, welcoming diversity, not using “church” words, dealing with conflict, being creative or not being creative, being changed by the people who show up; in other words, seeking to be transformed.

I wish I knew all these people better than I do, but I at least know them all a little bit!

The video was produced by Steve Knight, who founded The Transform Network, filmed by Wes Halula, and edited by Don Heatley.

Yesterday a good friend of mine was in a car accident (no one was injured), and the driver of the other vehicle leaped out of his car and called her a horrible string of names that can’t be repeated here.

Being in a car accident is a scary thing, for everyone involved. For a moment, you know that you are not in control. Human vulnerability is heightened. You could be injured. You could die. Things around you break. It’s scary.

But how do we respond? How do we respond to our human vulnerability? By attacking others? By flying into a rage? By becoming a bully? Will our bullying protect us from vulnerability?

And how then, do we respond to people who turn against us like bullies? This man became a bully. He attempted to prove his Powerful Nature by dominating my friend, by insulting and demeaning her. It was an act of violence, an act of hostility. It hurt her. It would hurt any of us.

Mahatma Gandhi said that when you feel humiliated by a bully, it’s a natural thing to want to slap them to “vindicate your self-respect.”* But instead of doing that, he suggested that we try to address the feeling of humiliation inside ourselves. He said that we could become “proof” against a bully’s insults. It’s a beautiful British use of the word “proof”–like a rain coat is rain proof, or a brick is fire proof.

I love the idea that we can become bully proof. But I know that it’s a life-long task! Gandhi talked about internalizing a non-violent spirit in order to become “proof” to violence.

I believe that bully-proofing begins with self-awareness of the shame and humiliation that is already inside us, learning to love and forgive ourselves again and again. For me, it has to do with accepting my imperfection and failings, and knowing that I am human and beautiful and beloved, even when I make terrible mistakes.

Usually, my mistakes are not as terrible as I fear, my imperfection is not as horrible as I dread. But that’s not the most important thing. The most important thing is extending generous hospitality to myself, even (especially) in the face of hostility directed against me.

Self-awareness and self-acceptance allow me to experience the goodness that is at the core of my being, underneath and before every bad judgement, every mistake, every oversight.

I make mistakes, but mistakes are not who I am. This awareness is the basis for feeling that I am completely capable of growing and changing–that I am valuable and deserve to be treated with respect at ALL times. All of us deserve to be recognized as having inherent worth and dignity.

Let a bully’s insults remain “in the bully’s mouth and not touch you at all,” Gandhi said.*


*You can find these quotes and more discussion of these ideas and related spiritual practices on page 139 in my book, in the chapter on “Hospitality to Enemies: Extending Generosity through Non-Retaliation.” The Gandhi quotes came originally from The Essential Gandhi: An Anthology of His Writings on His Life, Work, and Ideas, page 174. My book is Hospitality-The Sacred Art, published by Skylight Paths Publishing.

The reviewer at Publisher’s Weekly described my understanding of hospitality as “capacious.” I had to look that word up! (You can read the full review on the Amazon.com site.)

Capacious means containing or capable of containing a great deal, roomy. Yeah. So, not only my book, but hospitality, too. A roomy heart and life. Capacious!

Priest and author Henri Nouwen (pronounced Now-win) wrote so beautifully about spaciousness of heart during his lifetime. One beautiful image I got from him was the understanding of “poverty of heart” as “openness” of heart. He wrote of this in his book, Reaching Out: The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life. I highly recommend this book.

Nouwen wrote,

A good host not only has to be poor in mind but also poor in heart. When our heart is filled with prejudices, worries, jealousies, there is little room for a stranger…[W]e have to remind ourselves constantly that an inflated heart is just as dangerous as an inflated mind. An inflated heart can make us very intolerant. (pg 106-7)

But how can we let go of these “prejudices, worries, jealousies” and let our hearts relax into openness? First we have to realize that we are carrying these feelings around with us and that requires self- awareness. There are lots of ways we can improve our self-awareness: through meditation practices, through talk therapy, through conversation with friends, through journaling, or any number of spiritual practices. (I write about these and others in detail in my book, along with step by step instructions to try different practices.)

Hospitality involves awareness of the self–what’s really going on inside me–as well as awareness of the other. We have to see others clearly, and not through a haze of preconceived ideas about them.

With poverty of heart we can receive the experiences of others as a gift to us. Their histories can creatively connect with ours, their lives give new meaning to ours, and their God speaks to ours in mutual revelation. (p 107)

So if we can develop the kind of poverty of heart that means uncluttered, then we will have a much greater capacity to welcome others truly. We will have a capacious capacity for hospitality.

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