My Testimony for Marriage Equality in my church

I’m happy to report that the vote in my Presbytery, (Chicago), to expand the definition of marriage in the constitution of the Presbyterian Church (USA), was 179 yes, 60 no, with 8 abstentions.

If this change is adopted, the PC(USA) constitution would not limit marriage to being between a man and a woman, and would say instead:  “Marriage involves a unique commitment between two people, traditionally a man and a woman, to love and support each other for the rest of their lives.”

To change the constitution requires approval by 86 or more out of 172 presbyteries. In other words, a majority of the presbyteries must agree to this change.

You can track how the votes are adding up here.

And here is the testimony I gave at the Presbytery meeting today:

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I was eating a bowl of cereal for breakfast, way back in 1989 when the Gay Civil Rights Bill was passed in Massachusetts. I was so stunned that I began to cry. It wasn’t just a couple tears running down by face; it was a weeping that began in my chest and my gut and shook my body.

I was crying because that bill had been in the state legislature for 16 years. I never thought I would see civil rights in my lifetime.

I never thought that my life would be so respected that I would be deemed worthy of civil rights. But I was worthy. I was worthy of not losing my job or losing my housing simply because of who I was. I was worthy of being protected against hate crimes. That’s what the Civil Rights Law said to my soul. That society believed that I was worthy.

That was 1989. Twenty five years later, last year, Marriage Equality passed in Illinois and I was able to get married in May. Yesterday, I went to the dentist.

It was my first time seeing the dentist that my wife sees. The woman registering me said, “We have two phone numbers for you.”

“Yes,” I said, “that second one is my wife’s cell phone.”

“Oh, would you like us to list her as your emergency contact?” she asked.

“Yes! Please!” I said. She began typing. “What’s your wife’s first name, again?” I told her; she typed it in. And then we went on to other business, consent forms, methods of payment.

But I felt awestruck by this simple experience—my marriage was being accepted without question. Being married at this moment in history, it feels like I’m becoming visible. My love is visible. My family is real. And it’s being acknowledged at the dentist’s office.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if the church could acknowledge it too?

We could heal a lot of hearts and a lot of families by acknowledging them for what they are.